2018-08-16 I Don’t Miss It

Yesterday turned out to be kind of a terrible day despite how great it started out. I was Swamped with meetings and I ended up having to do a call in my car going to the high school and back because my darling daughter forgot something she needed. From my own house that a 6 minute round trip. From Jim’s it’s like 55. 🙄

I think I got burnt out the day before and didn’t really have my heart in anything. Plus, I had a slight headache which is something I haven’t had to deal with in a long tine. Everytine I looked at my screen I would wince with just a pinch of pain. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

My last call of the day was an internal meeting to talk through some action items due by our customer call (which is today). The person who was supposed to have done the work was out due to a death in the family and the other person was trying to scramble to run sql in the environment to get me the data. The call ended quick and I put my headset down and excused myself from doing more with it. I needed a break.

I’d promised a friend, who I put off last week, that I would meet her for happy hour. She suggested Blue and I figured that was perfect. I thought having a drink would do the trick and catching up with her would take my mind off things.

I was wrong. The drinks made my headache worse and though I didn’t feel like I ate very much, I felt overly full and generally crappy. I got back to Jim’s about 7:15 and felt so shitty all I wanted to do was lie down and sleep. I also sort of felt nauseous, I think from just too much, and was fighting an urge to throw up. It’s one of the unpleasant side effects of having a history of doing that to relieve the “too full” in my stomach. I didn’t say anything to Jim about it, we haven’t had “that” conversation yet. Maybe this week.

Due to my physical state, I could not read or think and so doing schoolwork was out of the question. Bummer cuz now I have only like 1 week to catch up. Jesus.. what am I going to do?

That’s rhetorical. Jesus isn’t actually listening or reading this blog. 😜

At this point I’ve failed to find balance and I know it. Now I’m going to have to pivot and focus a majority of time on school and that means Work is going to take a back seat and suffer. That’s why I can’t go to full time, truely. I’m reminded how last semester ended and it was hella stressful. I don’t miss that stress. I don’t want the stress.

Stress, dealing with head pain, and a constant nag in the back of my head about food are all things that I don’t miss. I felt like I was back in 2016 (minus the heartbreak), and i just can’t have that. Something has to change. I just don’t know what.

Hopefully it was just a temporary flash back. I got 8+ hours of sleep and woke up without a headache. Today will be better, I am sure of it. It has to.

Time to Find Out,

~Miss SugarCookie

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