Do you suppose that once Cinderella married the prince her life changed at all? Do you think that she was released from those chores of hers, scrubbing floors and doing dishes and also the thing that was too unmentionable even Disney didn’t even go there (toilets 😱)? I suppose the general assumption is that once married, dear Cinderella and her ball gowns hire someone else to do all the dirty work. But imagine if you will, that it wasn’t how the story went.
Four and a half hours into my day and I’m just now sitting down to do something for myself. I’ve been on my feet that long, tending to all the needs of Monday. The cats don’t rest much either when this is going on because they are too curious about what all the fuss is (or anxiously waiting for me to get to their litter boxes). They are clearly relieved that I’ve now plopped myself down on the couch with my laptop and have both found a nice cozy spot for their mid-morning nap.
Yesterday I was all lit up with motivation to make some commitment or resolution—something that was going to bring me a great sense of satisfaction and accomplishment. And now? Now I just want a nap. Something inside of me with about 38% authority wants me to at the very least go down to the gym with my tennis shoes and walk while I type this. But 38% is far from the majority and so here I sit. At the very least I should find another place to sit, to get a different perspective. But I really like being with the cats. It’s just the way it is. Plus finding a different spot would mean I have to get up and move again and I just don’t want to do that.
Briefly when I had that thought about Cinderella (which is not the first time I have gravitated toward that analogy), I thought about the Bachelor. The TV show I get sucked into from time to time and happen to be thoroughly enjoying this season. During that process all these beautiful girls jockey for position as they simultaneously date the same guy. It’s truly absurd but for some reason, I find it highly entertaining.
Anyway, they start the show off in this grand house where they all live and converse and have cocktail parties and pool parties and then gather in a dramatic ceremony where some girls get to stay and continue dating the guy while others are sent home, heartbroken. I probably don’t need to explain all that since the show is in like its 25th season or something outrageous like that.
At some point, they all travel to exotic places and get filmed doing fun activities that would make any globe-traveller jealous. All these cool dates and romantic dinners, concerts, etc, etc. They always interview these women and on the show, info about them pops up at the bottom of the screen to remind us who they are. Here is “Victoria F., from Virginia Beach, 26, Medical Rep. That’s all we know. Their name, age, hometown, and reported occupation. Hmmmm… kinda like how Bumble is, come to think of it.
Rarely do we see the couple de jour discussing what life will be like when they are off the show, if they end up together or engaged or whatever. You never see him saying “Well I have a house in Florida and that’s where I want to stay so if you don’t want to move away from Kansas City or Des Moines Iowa or wherever, then that’s a deal breaker”.
You also rarely hear her say “I really want my partner to be home helping me raise the children more than 50% of the time, so you would have to find some career besides being a pilot to earn a living”. Nope. Either they don’t talk about that stuff, or they have found that it is too boring to include in the drama of the show. I personally would love to see those conversations, especially over all the inebriated crying. Good Grief!
I can tell you that from where I sit (on the couch in my castle), those conversations are extremely important. But who I am I to say? Yes, the connection between two people is really important. Romantically, intellectually, sexually, spiritually, etc… But I think part of the secret to success is understanding where your partner is at in their life and what their goals are so you can support them, and also having that be a two way street. That includes logistics about career, how many kids you want (if any), and where you are going to live and what your lifestyle is. Obvi you can’t spend the rest of your life jet-setting off to exotic places.
I just don’t see how this Bachelor thing ever works because it seems everyone involved is just so concerned with the “connection” and also “winning” Heh! Plus, it’s so ridiculous that all these girls have to live together and witness the guy they are dating going out and making out with other women. If I had to endure that, I would be all like— no thanks. I want my man to have eyes for only me. It’s just so cray-cray. But I love it anyway. Perhaps some part of me craves that kind of drama and is better off getting a fix from some stupid reality television show than looking for it in my own life. For sure.
The stats for the final “couple” in most seasons is not great. Only a handful have stayed together and an even smaller number have actually gotten married. Yes, I did spend a little time just now researching the stats cuz I’m a big nerd like that, but it doesn’t matter really.
I think I’ve not exhausted my couch break now and really, really want to figure out what those new goals are going to be now that my own season of the bachelorette has now ended. So happy to have met my match AND gotten that final rose so that my Cinderella story can return to it’s regularly scheduled programming.
Happy Cat Napping,