Yesterday was another long day that moved faster than the normal speed of time. A late morning request led me back across the river to a floral shop in CB followed by a late lunch. Second day in a row inside a restaurant. Not sure how I feel about that.
I also picked up my son from school and it was the first time I’ve seen him in over two weeks. His quarantine is technically over but the Universe only knows what the real incubation period is for that damned virus.
The virus be damned, I need my people.
Tonight as I sat with my two babies In the kitchen while they ate the dinners cooked for them, I felt a wave of relief. And a rush of what I can only describe as happiness. They are home, safe and sound, as it should be. Poking each other’s buttons and pretending to be upset but then laughing out loud. As it should be.
Pretty soon they split off to their separate corners of the house. My son exits saying he’s got homework to do when we all know he’s going up to his room to play a video game. My daughter proceeds to show me her proposed class schedule for next semester, which she has in a document that includes all four years of classes planned out and color coded by category: ACE requirements, Electives, core major requirements, and emphasis classes. That’s MY girl.
Pretty soon she heads up to her room too and I’m alone in the kitchen again. And feel pretty good. I do the dishes and wipe down the counters. Jim is doing charting and I head back to the treadmill for more steps, but end up spending more time trying to coax Gus-Gus (our newest kitty) to step on the treadmill. He just might!
Now that would be a video that would go viral.
I went to bed early again hoping for a repeat performance of the 8 hours I had the night before. But no dice.
That was yesterday. Today is another strange beast. I had a record breaking 3 hours of sleep, waking up sometime in the one o’clock hour and never getting back to sleep.
Sometime in the 2 o’clock hour I went upstairs to my office. I had no intention of trying to sleep really. Futility has got me down, or up actually.
So there I am processing accepts and declines for GLR in the weee hours. Then I worked on what I’m going to say on Saturday. I took breaks to pet the various cats visiting me. I crept back to bed at 5:30 to wait for the 6am alarm. Might have fallen asleep then of course but there wasn’t time enough for that.
I was subsequently exhausted driving Cooper to school. He fell back asleep on the way and I was jealous. I was sure u could fall asleep when I got home. But no dice.
Messages with my step-sister led to the sorting, scanning, cropping, and sending of pictures for the slideshow at the funeral home Saturday.
Then some back and forth texting with other folks and also a phone call from my mom. She was upset about the obituary that names my brother, sister, and I as “children” and not “step-children.” Good grief.
I explained things from a different perspective, which didn’t make her feel better as much as I think just telling someone. She’s suddenly alone too this year, and really feeling the weight of it pressing in on her. Gravity sets in .. this is life now, and it’s a big adjustment.
There’s so much grief around me right now and I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed by it. That’s why moments of normalcy like I had last night with my kids are so important. My peace, my center, my hope.
I tried to lay back down at 10am. Still no dice.
Now I’m on the treadmill because what else am I gonna do with myself. I mean, chores and GLR stuff and more decorating are waiting for me. Yeah.. I’ve got stuff to do but somehow what I’m doing right this minute seems more important. My therapy.
Yesterday I had 24,154 steps. Yes. That’s twenty-four thousand, one hundred, fifty-four steps. Guess I need a lot of therapy.
My brother is driving across Nebraska today with his little nuclear family. They are staying in a hotel despite several offers from folks to stay at houses. We’re having them over Friday. I’m not sure how they intend to split time amongst all the people who will want to see them. I know our mom needs to see them. Hopefully they plan to visit with her.
Welp. I’ve only been walking for about half an hour (this time), but don’t have much else to write. Prolly task switch and continue working on the reading.
Peace and Love,