It’s Saturday and I’ve had a heck of a week and a healthy dose of reality check on multiple levels. Weights were lifted and new burdens took center stage in the SugarCookie world. Daily I remind myself that the future will be fantastic no matter what I choose. The best news ever is that now I have a partner in crime and talking through all of it with him is worth its weight in gold (or platinum or silver or diamonds or sapphires or Berkshire stock shares – whatever is worth the most).
I finally had closure with my ex. It was something that didn’t realize needed to happen, but now that it has, my heart feels lighter. I don’t have to think about what to do about future communication because there won’t be any. Despite my caring a little less these days about what people think of me, When it comes to people I care about, it’s etched into the fabric of my being. I received confirmation that his thoughts about me are positive despite regret felt from mistakes we both made. Relationships are complicated and it is the best possible outcome for us to have this closure from our five year love affair. Done.
On the Work front I got tangled in deep contemplation over the possibility of taking on yet another contract. I went back and forth and put weight on all the positives and negatives attached. I also had a long, wonderful conversation about it with my partner and I’ve now come to a conclusion about a decision on that as well.
I will spare you the details on my list of pros and cons but I will say it came down to basically two main factors.
1. The role is a project manager position and that is just not something I want to do anymore. When I was looking for jobs last year I probably would have taken a PM job but it’s not my first choice. I’d rather just be doing heads down Work behind the scenes. I found the perfect job for that, but it didn’t take them long to recognize I had the skills for that role and BAM, just like that I was pulled in. I’m now PM on two projects. As I go through my weeks, I’ve recognized those are the projects I don’t want to work on. That’s pretty telling. I hate being the main speaker/facilitator in meetings. Adding another one of those to the pile is not a good idea, even if it does negate my financial worries.
2. That leads to my second main point and where the conversation with Jim left me sure about my decision without a doubt. Income and financial responsibilities along with security in the number of hours I log always sit high in my mind. For the first time in my adult life I’m hourly and every hour matters. There’s been uncertainty with other projects and the hours that get spent. One week it’s on fire and the next it’s on hold. Two of my projects are now frozen until there’s a revenue stream. Ouch. However, my life is now in a state of transition too and it will be less than a year from now and I will no longer have a house payment. Last night at dinner I did some basic calculations about how many hours my house payment takes each month. The answer is about 50. That’s about one whole two week pay period (factoring in deductions for taxes and healthcare insurance). Short story, soon I won’t need that many hours. I’ll be able to work less and focus more on family and school. That’s brilliant!
Ok, that was more detail than I intended, but going over it one last time is super helpful to me. Thanks for playing along.
Anyway, so that’s out and the other good news from this week is that it looks like my kids’ dad’s new job is going to stick and he’s pulled the trigger on covering them on his work plan. That’s also going to save me about 15 hours of work a week once I can cancel them off my plan. Score!
Sorting all this work stuff out has taken attention away from my schoolwork. I’ll admit getting engaged and being on vacation have also been distractions but now I’m in a tight spot. My second packet was due .. well.. today as a matter of fact. What have I done? Zero. Ouch!
I contacted my mentor for an extension and have a new deadline. This is a very eye opening experience. I’m paying big money for this education and want to do as much as I can to take advantages of the time and resources I have being a part of this MFA program. Ignoring it or procrastinating past the point of reason is not the right thing to do. I have to turn this around. It has to start now. All the more reason to work less. What’s my goal again? Oh yeah, to be a writer. That’s the ticket,
This weekend I have to work on revising my previous poems and write two essays. I need to do a months worth of work in 1 week. My new deadline is one week from now. Not only that but midterm summaries are also due at the same time. Double – Ouch! Time to get rolling I guess.
First things first this morning though. Cardio and then a visit to Children’s hospital with my son for lab draws. We’re making a morning of it, QT with just him and I. That’s rare. After hitting the lab we are going to a coffee shop and taking a game with us. It will be a nice time. After that the afternoon is open. Should be a great Saturday.
Let’s Get the Party Started,