Or I’ll take back the city for me.

Why is this Snow Patrol lyric in my head?

It was a miserable day today. One of those days you realize, something has got to change. There are so many things in my life right now that are going right that it feels sort of ridiculous to be experiencing this need for change so deeply.

Jim and I have had a few good conversations about my health issues. I might have swept some of those things under the rug for too long. I’m generally healthy and active and have a desire to work on my fitness. I haven’t been to a doctor other than my OB in ages (except for the tennis elbow thing) and can’t even remember how long it’s been since I’ve had general labs done.

A year ago I lost my heath insurance. But I just shrugged. I figured I could just coast until I got married. No, I didn’t get married to get health insurance, but I won’t deny it is a nice benefit!

While I waited I put off seeing the dentist, getting a mammogram, and scheduling any sort of well check-up. I told myself that February was just around the corner and then I could get back to doing those things.

Then February came and went and I procrastinated. Then March arrived and along with it, a global pandemic. Everything for everybody was put on hold. Not only that, but it meant I was not getting my Jazzercise classes either and without that, I lost my motivation for cardio and doing free weights.

I took on more work this spring too which meantmore stress. I took on a big side project AND had my last semester of grad school AND was trying to navigate the newlywed life supporting my husband and his business through the worst of the first wave of the virus.

I actually started drinking more in the evenings and, if you read my last post, I started having sleep issues again for which I turned to meds. Now here we are in June and I feel just wrecked.

It took my all day today to recover from not sleeping last night and fighting whatever it was that had a hold of me. I was light headed, and achy and nauseated. It was terrible. It’s nearing 9PM now and I’m finally starting to bounce back.

As a consequence of the way I felt, I took the day off. I called in sick to work, cancelled a date with a friend, and basically babied myself for most of the day. I sat around, and laid around, and drove my car to get the kids and I take out for lunch. I thought a lot about how things have been going and, as I stated already, had good conversation with Jim about it.

Here’s the plan.. I’m quitting the sleeping pills and I’m abstaining from drinking alcohol for at least the rest of this month. I’m going to try to eat right and not worry so much about my sleep habits or my stats. Jim wants me to put my Fitbit on the shelf for a while too, but I am not sure I can do that. I also need to quit ignoring my health issues: tiredness, brain-fog, sensitive/sore teeth, insomnia.

I made an appointment with my dentist to get my teeth checked and talk to them about my constant tooth sensitivity. That’s next Monday. I made an appointment for my a mammogram. That’s next Tuesday. I did not yet make an appointment to see my OB, but that’s next on my list.

Plus, I did make an appointment to have a general physical check up with some labs with an internal med doctor. Jim suggested since it has been a while that I go see someone new and since I now have insurance again, I can do that. That appointment is a ways out but if push comes to shove, I can always go see another doc in the interim.

In any case, I’m taking some measures to put myself right. I’m going to ease up on work too and try not to put so much pressure on myself about everything. I need to try to relax and enjoy life. I see folks doing things like swimming and hiking and bike rides and I just want to do that too. It’s summer and I should be! It will be good for me.

In just a few minutes. Jim and I are going to go for a cruise in the Jeep. We’ll get some fresh air and finish out the day on a good note. I’m not sure how tonight will go in the sleep department, but if it goes poorly like last night, I know what NOT to do!!

I’m gonna take back this city for myself tonight and let the anthem of those words repeat as often as I need in order to make some real changes in my life. And those changes have to start right now.

Ready, Set, Sleep! 😴
~Miss SugarCookie