I happen to have pulled some long days lately covering for my PM who was out with a serious emergency.
I happen to bust my ass and sacrifice quality time with my kids in these waning days of summer before school is back in session.
I happen to decide that enough is enough and begin planning for my exit from that scene.
I happen to rock that demo of the latest release of our software today despite technical difficulties. But still I shrug.
And finally.. I happen to be on a call with my bosses. A project review with the PM who is now back to work. And heard first hand when the news of the latest contract hit their in-boxes. And heard the sparkle in their eyes and quickening of their heart beats.
But my heart doesn’t keep that kind of time anymore. My heart was wandering the garden with the dahlias in full bloom and the pumpkins growing wild across a stockpile of firewood we’re saving for winter.
From where I was, so many paces away from the house. Wifi weakening with every step, I could barely make out the words that were ushered through. I could barely care.
It’s Monday and I think I’ve had enough (it’s only Monday and I’ve logged 11 hours already). This week the focus has to shift to other things. It has to. My son goes back to school (he’s a junior) and that could be crazy chaos with the covid still raging across the country. On Thursday I move my daughter into the dorm. Same story there with the uncertainty.
Not sure how these schools think they can successfully socially distance thousands of teenagers, but the economy and the country is demanding status quo so there you go. The almighty dollar really is a powerful beast that makes people do crazy things.
If I had my way, I’d just shut it all down for a year until there is a vaccine available for gen pop. Put Wall Street on hold. Hold all bill collecting from banks and crusty landlords alike. Use “stimulus” funds for essential services and to provide food and shelter for people in need. How hard would that be?
I dunno. I still want my baby to have a normal college dorm experience. I want her to be able to walk across campus in the bright sunshine of a crisp autumn day. I want my son to get his drivers permit and to give him some good lessons as the leaves begin to turn.
I’m torn about a lot of things, you know? But not feeling very torn about quitting anymore. It’s definitely time.
Time is all we have and time is always running out.
Good gravy, that’s enough.
Peace and Love,