Miss SugarCookie

Hey there!

This stream of consciousness is intended to be an unfiltered account of my journey to fight my way to a healthier, happier life. One day at a time, one step at a time, one organically-grown-emotionally-raw blog post at a time…

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2020-04-05 Rolling Eyes and Shrugging 🙄 🤷‍♀️ 😢

What is a girl to do. Yesterday I was all “everything’s going my way again”, you know and am I so fragile that just like that I’m down again? It’s Sunday and I’m alone and grumpy. I’ve just finished going through the thesis preface feedback returned from my mentor a few days ago, for the…
2020-04-04 Much Needed Relief

Somehow yesterday, even as I was lamenting the shit show my week had been, I knew that relief was on the way. I’m not sure if I had this notion because I knew it was Friday AND my period just had to start or if it was just that after several days of rotten strung…
2020-04-03 Nebraska Kind of Moody

Two days ago it was 70 degrees and sunny. This morning I woke up to sleet and a fresh layer of snow on the ground. That’s spring In Nebraska and those wild swings kind of remind me of my mood these days. Yesterday was another really rough day. There were so many different interconnected factors…
2020-04-02 Nowhere to Hide

There are days I’ve tried to just cruise along and behave as if it’s a normal day. I’ve worked and cared for my family and done my chores. I’ve walked and written. I’ve locked myself alone in a room to work on my thesis, shutting the whole world out, pretending it was all ok. It’s…
2020-03-31 Crisis, Evolution, Kaczynski, and Poetry.. Oh My!

If you’re into drama and the sob-story of a broken cookie, I’m all about that today. If you’re here for the poetry, skip to the end… Yesterday I was hoping to send my thesis preface and manuscript revisions off early in the day. You know, release myself from the hold it had on me. But…
2020-03-30 Balance and Flow

When you put in the work, sometimes it sucks. But man oh man does it feel good when you’re close to the finish line. That’s how I’m finally feeling today after putting myself in a box for the last three days. Not only did I need to crank out some pages for my MFA thesis…
2020-03-26 Climbing the Pyramid is a Struggle

My basic needs are being met, and I’m grateful for that. By Maslow’s standards, I’m probably at Safety and while that’s ok, I’m desperate to go higher. But I’m stuck. So many of my writer friends and acquaintances are writing their hearts out right now. Amid this crisis people are inspired to create. In times…
2020-03-25 My Plan to Go Rogue

I’ve just written three sentences and backspaced them. I don’t think I have it in me today. It’s that little voice inside that says “go rogue”. I’m on the hook for more work and never has there been as much other stuff going on. I don’t want to get myself all bunched up like last…
2020-03-24 Turning My Frown Upside-Down

I don’t have anything positive to say today it seems. My mind is cycling through points of irritation about my ex-husband, my current husband’s son, and just not having enough time to get everything that “needs” doing done. Most of this has roots in the current state of the world and the Pandemic. And frankly…
2020-03-23 Navigating the New Monday

I realized yesterday that just being home doesn’t qualify as time I need to recharge my battery. I need time alone. There’s a big difference between me being home while everyone goes off to work and school when I can get down with my own intentions and plans and parting ways after breakfast where I’m…
2020-03-22 Super-Sized Sunday Status

It’s Sunday again and I really need to get some steps to boost my stats and get my heart going. Plus, I’ve got a lot to say today so this could get long. Imma start with school. Yesterday I had a two hour phone conversation with my assigned mentor for the semester and though it…
2020-03-20 Best Laid Plans 🤷‍♀️

Today I’m going to try… really try to get through the last third of my manuscript and revise those pages based on feedback from my mentor. I have a call with him tomorrow. *** I literally wrote that opening sentence 7 hours ago. I was called away by other duties as assigned and now it’s…