2023-01-02 Enough is Enough Already…

I’m always prone to being distracted by the new shiny. I think it’s only human. Routine and the cadence of up and down are also very human traits, for most people. I suppose there are some who thrive in chaos but I’m not among them. 

It’s a new year and this is (at least) my third piece of writing about that. It’s like the current puzzle in my brain is what to do about it. As if there’s something that needs to be done. As if I’m called to reflect more on the past year or declare some new resolution. 

The truth is that with that previous thinking and writing I have probably done enough already. Except maybe actually declaring my intentions for the coming year. 

Still, from one of my previous recent posts, it’s clear what can happen, and almost always does, is that the resolutions get lost and forgotten in the bustle of everyday life. So why even set yourself up for failure? And why also make declarations for goals that can’t be measured, as several of mine from last year were? Yet that’s where my mind has been wandering. To the nebulous and untrackable. 

One example would be my resolution last year to have less screen time. But without acute awareness and attention to it literally all the time, there’s no way to know if I’m doing it or not. So my thoughts about being a better partner and parent fall into this space. 

Yes.. I should have mindfulness about these things all the time anyhow, but sadly it’s kind of like everything else. You rush around doing and sometimes don’t realize how your mood or behavior is shaping your interactions in a negative way. 

Now my kids are older so there’s less interaction in general because they just like to be left alone to do their own thing. But that just means that when I have opportunities I need to make them count. 

I think one of the things I’ve always done is make my resolutions entirely about me and improvements for my own eating, exercise, and mental health. They are SugarCookie centric, if you will, with measurable or not so measurable statistics that can be used to gauge success. Maybe what I want is to gravitate to more relationship based and not so self-focused things. Like being more positive and supportive. 

In a way, though, doing this still comes down to time. To spend more time and energy being supportive means that I’ll have to sacrifice other endeavors. There’s no denying that fact. There’s not an endless amount of time or energy in a day or a life, so sometimes—most times—a trade off is required. 

Time is just part of the equation, though. The other variable in play is my mood and attitude. I can safely say about myself that there are times when I’m in a negative head space and that definitely shades my interactions. Because I’m only human, after all. It’s really tough to have complete outward positivity when the inside is suffering. Facts are facts. 

It takes real recognition and effort. So maybe that’s the true resolution. To be more mindful and take steps to better control my words, body language, and attitude. Funny, I feel like I do this pretty well with most people outside my immediate family. I think that’s normal, maybe, we take our closest people for granted because we feel comfortable being real around them and also know they are really kind of stuck with us. So we let go a little of the control over our emotions and mood around them. 

So that’s it. That’s one conclusion for my main resolution. I’m going to try to be a better human to those closest to me. Of course I can’t escape the desire to also have a few other personal goals. Most certainly not as many as last year but perhaps a few carry-overs from December. 🍃🍁🍂🌿

Cheers to the New Year and All that Jazz,

~Miss SugarCookie

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