Miss SugarCookie

Hey there!

This stream of consciousness is intended to be an unfiltered account of my journey to fight my way to a healthier, happier life. One day at a time, one step at a time, one organically-grown-emotionally-raw blog post at a time…

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2019-08-31 Autumn Declarations 🍂🍅🌼 and Life Proclamations

I woke at 7:22am after sleeping for a solid 8 hours and 55 minutes. That’s the most I’ve slept in months, my average hovering at about 6.5. I feel great. Not just good, but great. Well, well now. Despite a few bumps, August was a success. I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be, tip-toes, tipping…
2019-08-29 Cage Match with Ornamental Grass

It’s late in the day for me to be doing the treadmill thing and trying to come up with something to write about. I guess I don’t have to, but it feels so necessary. It’s the end-times after all, we need all the unverifiable documentation that we can get. Jim gets home from work and…
2019-08-28 All the Rest

This morning I’m listening to the most curious playlist I created yesterday. I had 20 bucks store credit from iTunes and spent 11.99 on T. Swift’s new album. I suppose nobody buys music anymore but what else am I gonna do with store credit. To be fair, I’d still like to have the physical CD,…
2019-08-26 It’s THAT Day Again…

… You know the one… It’s Cheeseburger Monday. It’s raining outside so I don’t have to water day. It’s listen to your favorite tunes day. It’s the day we cut zinnias from the garden to fill vases in strategic places throughout the house (and yes, you will get wet from the rain – but you…
2019-08-23 Nothing to Read Here, Move Along

I feel like I don’t have much of anything worthy of writing about today. Still, I’m on this treadmill trying to walk my way toward something. Ironic right? What about last night? Another rough one and I tried like four different places in the house to sleep. I’m trying to use the Xanax more sparingly…
2019-08-22 Word of the Day Weirdness

About a month ago Jim started forwarding me these random “word of the day” emails. It’s just some website spreading daily content to a list of subscribers. I like words, and was like “way cool”. The email and site, if you click on it, has the word with the definition, pronunciation, origins, example usage, and…
2019-08-21 Tick-Tock

I’m checking the calendar again. How long has it been since my last cortisone shot? How many days until my next period? How many months until my wedding? How many days until my next assignment is due? And at the moment, the biggest elephant in the room.. how many days until next Monday, when I…
2019-08-20 How Much is Enough?

How many things can I cross off my list? How many things do I need to cross off to feel as if I’m doing enough? That I’ve done enough? Enough for what? To earn my keep here? To feel like I’ve actually accomplished something substantial and worthwhile? To earn some reward or rest or treating…
2019-08-18 An Abundance of Fresh Water and Wild Wanderings

“The poem is the lie we tell to reveal the truth.” It’s a comment/quote that came back on my packet .5 and I’m a little stuck on that, but not in a bad way. In a very satisfying, mind-winding way. This is the first semester in the program that a mentor has given me such…
2019-08-15 Nightmares and the Spoken Poem

I don’t have much to muse about today. I could ponder longer the nightmare that I had last night which was super creepy but I kinda don’t want it to linger any longer than necessary. What was interesting was that I was having trouble falling asleep and at about midnight I got up and went…
2019-08-14 Wednesday Wanderings

Yesterday was one wild day (mostly in my mind). It started with that early morning emotional upheaval in my brain and I was sort-of charged up most of the day. Though not charged up enough to write anymore after 9am. I also tried to read in the afternoon and my brain would not have it.…
2019-08-13 “Everything Now”

At residency Jackson introduced me to a band. It’s not a new band, they’ve been around, but they are new to me. That’s how my life goes. That’s how everyone’s life goes, you know. You don’t know something until you know it. That’s why we need people. Other people. To know things and show us…